


Winging it

by Odsbodkins



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: First Time, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-29
Updated: 2014-08-29
Packaged: 2018-02-13 13:04:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2151756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Odsbodkins/pseuds/Odsbodkins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>He was still hiding his huge crush on one of his best friends, though. But that wasn’t about Sam being a guy; that was about Sam being a friend. If Sam had been female, Steve didn’t think he’d be asking her out either.</em> </p><p>Steve works through some things about his sexuality, about his feelings for Sam, and about the fact that Bucky was still probably the worst wingman in the entire world. For the <a href="http://stevesambigbang.tumblr.com/">Freebird Big Bang</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Winging it

As an Avenger, and trying to protect the world without the structure of an organization like SHIELD or the SSR behind him, there were very few certainties in Steve Rogers’ life. He’d venture to say that there were maybe only two of them: first, that he’d accidentally fallen in love with Sam Wilson. And second, that Bucky Barnes was the best friend a guy could have.

Bucky grinned at him over his drink, and Steve remembered where they were and why they were there. Scratch that, he was the worst friend a guy could have.

It had taken a long time to get to this point. A long time even to find Bucky, which had ended up with Steve and Sam spending months criss-crossing back and forth across America.

Of course, it was on that road trip that he’d fallen in love with Sam.

Steve wasn’t sure when. He thought probably it had been when they’d run out of leads and had been driving aimlessly, and Sam had suggested they stop by every weird roadside attraction they could possibly find. Then after a couple of days of still no leads, it had turned from stopping by things which they happened to be passing to actively looking for the weirdest attractions. Sam had such a genuine joy in things like this; the goofy-looking dinosaurs, all the different sorts of “World’s Largest”, and the terrible gift stores that went along with them.

It was a joy that was infectious. What made Steve happy, apparently, was doing stupid tourist stuff with Sam. Or possibly, what made Sam happy made Steve happy.

They’d been looking at a really big ball of twine. Their second really big ball of twine.

Sam had poked at it with one finger. “Lot of twine.”

Steve had put on his most serious Captain America face, and said with all the faux-gravity he could muster, “Of course, this one is better than the other one because it’s a community effort. It’s symbolic of what the American people can achieve when they work together.”

He and Sam had looked at each other for a beat, then burst out laughing.

That was as good a moment as any to say that he’d fallen for Sam. Under the influence of a forty foot ball of twine.

It had taken him a little longer to work that out though. He knew when he’d realized he was in love with Sam; that had been in a gift store in Kansas when he was looking for the cheesiest, most horrific “Center of the USA” souvenir to buy Sam. Why a key ring had triggered the epiphany he’d never know, but it had hit him like a lightning strike: he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Sam, wanted to see him smile over breakfast, maybe travel the world with him and see all the stupid tourist traps the world had to offer (and wanted to do a whole lot more, but he’d stamped on that particular train of thought as completely inappropriate in public).

He might have blushed when he’d handed the key ring over to Sam, but that was it. Sam was a friend, a good man and someone he could trust completely. He wasn’t going to betray that trust by making a pass at him.

They’d continued on their Great American Road-Trip (it acquired capital letters at some point. Sam even had t-shirts printed. Horrible, horrible, matching t-shirts that they both wore with glee). For another couple of months, they had a mixture of tourism and following down leads on Hydra.

It was six months after the ball of twine that they got a text from Natasha, asking them to come to New York.

When she’d talked about the Winter Soldier, Steve had guessed that Natasha was hiding something from him, but he’d never in a million years have thought that itwas a past relationship with Bucky. So Bucky had turned up on Natasha’s doorstep, memories fragmented, but knowing enough that he needed Natasha’s skills to take down the parts of Hydra he couldn’t just blow up..

So while Steve and Sam had been on the Great American Road Trip and taking down Hydra as they went, Bucky and Natasha had been cutting a swathe through Hydra in Europe and Asia. It was only after Bucky had run out of targets that he’d wanted to face up to the rest of his past; that was the point when Natasha texted.

When Steve had walked into Natasha’s apartment and found Bucky in the living room, with his hair short and looking uncertain, he’d damn near passed out.

He couldn’t remember much about the rest of that day. They’d talked. They’d hugged. They’d cried. Sam and Natasha had been hovering in the background, support that he’d– _they’d_ –desperately needed.

So here they were, a few months later. Bucky had most of his memories back. They were neither of them ever going to be the men (maybe only boys) that they were before going to war; and he thought that Bucky was never going to stop being haunted by being the Winter Soldier. But with a lot of time, patience, and effort on Natasha’s part, and help from him and Sam when they were on the scene again, Bucky had begun to heal.

And Bucky was–Steve would hesitate to call him happy. There were too many ghosts for that. Perhaps “settled” might be better. Settled enough that he’d even faced down the press and a Senate committee, and was officially pardoned (which was very, very different from forgiving himself). Settled enough that Bucky had declared that he wanted to see Steve happy. Which was nice. But– and it was a big _but_ – Bucky had decided to do this by restarting the campaign that he’d been waging on and off since they were 14: Get Steve Laid.

“So, right, you’re about a Kinsey five, yeah?” Bucky had been reading up on this, which again, nice to have someone caring that much about you, but slightly weird all the same. “Meaning if a woman’s as fantastic as Peggy she’ll grab your attention, but there ain’t many women like that out there. So we’re looking at guys. You been out to any gay bars yet?”

Steve was glad that Bucky hadn’t asked him if he had his eye on anyone, so he didn’t have to lie to cover up being stupidly in love with Sam. So stupidly in love that he was genuinely fighting the urge to doodle little hearts with ‘SR 4 SW’ in them in the margins of his sketchbooks. That wasn’t stupidly in love, that was just stupid.

But Steve had some dignity, and what he actually said was, “No. I– When I first woke up I didn’t want to be around anyone much. Then they told everyone Captain America was back, and I couldn’t face the idea of walking into a bar and it being front page news.”

“So not been dating, then?”

“I, uh– I tried a couple of dates with women. They were all nice, but–” Steve shrugged.

“So guys. But guys without the whole world knowing about it. Lucky you know someone who knows everything there is to know about not being recognized, right?”

That was how he now found himself in a gay bar (not a club, “You still can’t dance, right? So a bar”), unshaven, wearing clothes that he’d never have chosen for himself, and feeling extremely uncomfortable. He certainly didn’t look like himself, so at least he wasn’t worried about being recognized. He was surrounded by attractive guys, though none of them were as attractive as Sam, and damn, if he was in a room full of handsome men and could still only think of Sam then he had it bad, didn’t he?

He took a swig of his drink. Not that the alcohol was any help to him, but at least it meant he had something to do with his hands. Even if that something was concentrating on not squeezing the glass so hard that it shattered.

Bucky was at his side, drink in hand, enjoying all the attention that he was getting, smiling and trying get the guys to focus on Steve. It was the same old story. Even though Bucky wasn’t interested in guys at all, he could have gotten laid ten times over since walking into the bar, while Steve was barely getting a second glance.

“C’mon, it’s a bar, not a funeral. You ain’t getting any offers ‘cause you might as well have a sign over your head telling people to go away.”

“I’m not very good at this.”

“Like I don’t know that. I don’t know how much booze it’ll take for you to loosen up these days, but if that’s what it’ll take I’ll max my card out at the bar for you.”

“No, it’s not that. I just– I don’t know how to go looking for dates.”

“Seriously? Right, ‘kay, watch the next few guys who come into the bar, we’re looking for the ones who are on the prowl, not the ones just coming in for a drink.”

Steve obediently watched the door, but tried to do it subtly (not that he thought he was particularly successful about it). The next bunch of guys who came in were obviously in a group, already laughing together, and Bucky said, “Not them, they’re not looking. Well, not yet anyway.” Then a guy came in on his own. “Ok, him, right, see, he’s looking across the bar. And right now he’s looking at you, checking you out.” Steve tensed up involuntarily. “Yeah, and that’s what I’m talking about. You’ve just put up a big body language notice telling him to get lost. So he’s looking someplace else.”

“What’s your point?”

“My point is, you don’t need to go looking for dates. You just need to stop silently telling the dozen or so guys in here who would jump you at a moment’s notice that you want them to get bent.” Bucky snickered. “Sorry, wrong word.”

“I’m glad _you’re_ having fun.”

Bucky grinned. “It’s good to know that if I got hit with a gay-ray I wouldn’t get lonely.”

“Gay-ray.”

“C’mon, all the weird things that have happened to us, that would be practically normal.”

“I’m telling you right now, if that does happen, I’m not going on any double dates with you.”

Bucky pouted and batted his eyelashes, “Awww, really?”

Steve couldn’t help but smile, “Now I’m not going to get any interest because they’ll think we’re a couple.”

“I shoulda brought a sign saying you aren’t my boyfriend.”

“Which would get you a lot more interest. Me, not so much.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “You know, I thought this was gonna be easy? I thought, ‘kay, the reason I couldn’t get you second dates when we were younger was ‘cause I was a dumbass who ignored the fact the you were into guys and tried to get you interested in girls. I thought, I get you to a gay bar, it’ll be plain sailing.” He grinned. “You got a body like Captain America after all, and I checked, that guy is like a gay icon or something.”

“So’s Judy Garland, and she wouldn’t get laid in a gay bar.”

Bucky theatrically hit his head on the table in front of him.

The thing was, Steve didn’t _want_ any of these guys. Not that it made much difference, given that he half-seized-up the moment any of them so much as looked in his direction. He knew what he wanted, he wasn’t going to get it, so why was he even here?

He sighed and said, “I think I’m gonna head home.”

Bucky gave a lopsided grin, “This mission’s a bust.”

Steve wanted the walk to clear his head, so they didn’t head for the subway. After they’d been walking for about ten minutes he said, “I think if you’d ever taken me to a queer bar back then, that’s pretty much how it would have gone.”

Bucky huffed a laugh. “Yeah, the packaging may have changed, but you’re still the same guy. What am I gonna do about you?”

“You could give up. I mean, I’ve been fine this long without, you know.”

“If I thought you genuinely didn’t want it, I’d give up. You know that’s a thing too? People who aren’t interested in sex at all? Asexual. But that ain’t you, is it?”

“I’m real glad I’ve accidentally made you an expert in human sexuality.”

“Hey, it’s interesting. Might even come in useful sometime. But all I really need to find is someone Stevesexual who you like back.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Stevesexual.”

“Totally a thing.”

\---

A few days later, Bucky turned up at his apartment in the evening. “Been thinking.”

“That’s gotta hurt.”

“Har har.”

Steve waved Bucky inside, and shut the door, but instead of making a beeline to the fridge or the couch, Bucky hesitated. “I- I was thinking - you’re not really out to anyone are you? I already knew, and it’s just Natasha you’ve told, yeah?”

“ _You_ told Natasha.”

Bucky made a dismissive gesture. “I’m terrible at keeping secrets from her, ok? Espionage kryptonite or something. Uh, right, what I’m getting at is, and you don’t have to answer this if you don’t wanna, are you, you know, comfortable with the gay thing?”

Steve looked at his hands. “I don’t know. I should– I should be over the moon, shouldn’t I?” He gave a short laugh, “I mean, there’s even gay churches. All that stuff that I had to work out by myself, how the Almighty could make me this way and still love me, they’ve got it all worked out, organized, everything. That’s... that’s great. I know all of it, but my instincts haven’t caught up. When I see two guys holding hands I still check for cops.”

“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking was about. I threw you in the deep end, didn’t I? Sorry about that.”

Steve smiled. “I’ve had worse nights out. All of them your fault, mind.” He sighed. “How do you manage it? You were there, relaxed as anything–”

“Not the same. I got my straight guy card signed, stamped and girlfriend-validated, so even if it is still sorta 1940 in bits of my head, I know I’m safe.” He smiled at Steve. “You’ve always been the brave one. I’m sure that if we switched, you wouldn’t have gotten me into that bar at all. I’d have been too busy screwing every girl I could find in a thirty-mile radius, to prove I wasn’t gay. I mean, even right now, how many fifteen-year-old guys have the guts to come out to their best friend without knowing how he’s gonna take it? And you did that just because you didn’t like lying. You’re really something, Steve.”

“Yeah, well, takes something to stick by a kid who’s idiot enough to come out to you in 1935.”

“Stupidity, probably.”

“Sounds about right. Whole bunch of stupid, the pair of us.”

“You ever been to one of these gay churches?” Bucky grinned. “Seems just the sort of place to meet a Nice Young Man.”

“That is _not_ the point of them, and no, I haven’t. I just–you make more connections in church than you do in a bar. Much more likely I’m going to get recognized. I’m– I– I kinda need to work out where Steve Rogers is at with his sexuality before Captain America’s gets splashed all over the front pages.”

Bucky nodded. “So, I have a suggestion. Whenever we’re both in town, nothing else going on, we go down some gay bar, get some drinks. Nothing else, no date-hunting, just get you comfortable with it. Treat it like any other bar. I’ll make sure you won’t be recognized as well.”

“People’ll think we’re a couple.”

“So? Only person whose opinion on my sexuality I care about is Natasha, and trust me, I am really, really good at demonstrating how much I like women-”

“Don’twanttoknow!”

Bucky laughed, then suddenly looked serious. “If we get a guy for you, you have any idea what to do?”

Steve blushed deeply and shook his head, not looking at Bucky.

“Huh. I got nothing. I’ll ask Natasha. She’s watched gay porn.”

Steve raised an eyebrow at Bucky.

Bucky just shrugged. “There’s straight guys who watch lesbian porn, straight women who watch gay porn.” He grinned. “I’m gonna rate feminist lesbian porn as one of the best things about modernity. No hairy-assed guys, it’s guilt-free, you can justify it to your girlfriend–”

“I’m stopping this conversation right now.”

“There was a point, I swear, it was that you need sex education.”

“Not from Natasha. I just– no. Please?”

“Sure. But I’ll get her to do the research, send you the books, websites, porn DVDs, erotic sculptures–”

Steve groaned. “I’m going to regret this.”

“Yeah, but at least I’m good for birthday and Christmas present ideas.”

So every time they wanted to hang out together, they wouldn’t go to each other’s apartment, they’d go out to some gay bar. They made sure they never went back anywhere too often– becoming regulars would be too much of a risk for being recognized. And it worked, Steve was getting to be more relaxed, more accepting. Guys holding hands, guys kissing, it really was all ok, no need to hide.

He was still hiding his huge crush on one of his best friends, though. But that wasn’t about Sam being a guy; that was about Sam being a friend. If Sam had been female, Steve didn’t think he’d be asking her out either.

Bucky also kept his word about bringing him books. He’d turned up with a plain package, given it to Steve with a smirk, and left. Steve had taken a few minutes to even open it. And after he did, well, _The Joy of Gay Sex, The Complete Guide to Anal Sex_ , and _The Ins and Outs of Gay Sex_ spent a few days shut in a drawer, unopened. He eventually took a deep breath, told himself that he’d faced a lot worse in his life than books about sex, and read.

It was– there were– he could– it was almost overwhelming. Like a whole new world of possibility had opened up in front of him, and yes, he was most definitely not asexual. There were words for what he wanted to do, to have done to him, and there were things that he’d never even thought of that he just _wanted_. It took him another few days to touch himself like that, every hangup he’d ever had coming to the fore, about it being dirty and shameful and _you don’t want anyone to think you’re a fairy do you?_ But he eventually talked himself into it, stood in the shower, the lock on the bathroom door as another layer of security. He breathed out through his nose, and slid a lubricated finger inside himself, looking for the spot the books had talked about.

 _Fuck_. It was a completely different sensation, almost a deeper pleasure. He rubbed against the spot, wrapped his other hand around his dick and brought himself to the most intense orgasm of his life.

He was over one psychological hurdle then. He could handle exploring his sexuality on his own at least (and trying to tamp down hard on the unbidden fantasies about Sam that cropped up whenever he did). But some things hadn’t changed. He still couldn’t imagine himself walking up to a guy in a bar, hitting on him, going home with him. He still wanted more than just sex. Someone who wanted him, not just the body he’d been given.

Well, Steve knew exactly what he wanted. He went running with him every morning.

So when he was out in gay bars, it was just to have a drink with Bucky.

Bucky looked at him over his drink. “Amazon thinks I’m gay and really like model railways, just so you know.”

“What?”

“It’s got some program that remembers what you buy, and recommends stuff based on that. The only things I’ve bought from there have been either your educational materials,” Bucky raised his eyebrows and grinned at that, “and something that Natasha claims she needed for a mission. Meaning gay sex manuals and model railway books. And now it’s telling me I should be buying beard trimmers as well. Guess all the gay guys with train sets have beards.” At that point a man dressed in leathers with a very impressive beard walked into the bar, and Bucky elbowed Steve in the ribs. “Go on, go ask him how big his train set is.”

They both burst out laughing.

When they stopped snickering, Steve said, “Model railway books? For a mission?”

“Yeah, I ain’t entirely convinced either. I’m thinking maybe she’s got a safe house somewhere that’s covered in a huge train set.”

The mental image of Natasha sitting in the middle of a huge train set, controlling the trains with the same intensity that she used on missions, was enough to make Steve smile. “Maybe she’s in a model railway club with a bunch of gay guys with big beards.”

That made Bucky laugh again.

When they walked out of the bar a couple of hours later, Bucky was still happily coming up with train set innuendos, and they were laughing like they were kids again. Steve was on the point of turning right, heading home, when Bucky slung his arm around his shoulders and turned them both left.

Bucky leaned in as they walked and said, “Tony Stark at 3 o'clock, and I don’t want to talk to him, don’t know about you.”

“Nope. You sure it’s him? He’s not usually at ground level.”

Bucky snickered. “Yeah, it’s him. He’s got that Stark-aura.”

“This some super-spy skill?”

Bucky grinned, “Nah, natural talent for seeing smug.”

They walked for a few minutes, before Bucky spoke again. “Speaking of super-spy, I thought there’s some intel I’m missing. If I’m gonna find you a guy, I need to know what I’m looking for. So, start with the Avengers: order of attractiveness, starting with most attractive.”

“I do not rate my team on attractiveness.”

“Why not? It’s a great way to pass the time if you’re stuck doing something boring. I’ve got a ten point scale, Natasha’s the ten. Doesn’t mean I’m gonna jump any of the others. And, if you really have to think about it, it makes you look like you’re concentrating on something important. Go on, rate the team.”

“I don’t think of them like that. Really.”

“Yeah, but you _could_. C’mon Steve. I need the intel. Rate them.”

Steve paused for a moment. “If you tell anyone, this conversation never happened.”

“I wouldn’t!”

“Especially not Natasha. You said that you’re awful at keeping secrets from her.”

“I’m concentrating now, I promise, not even to her.”

“You break that promise and I swear, I _will_ hurt you.”

“Cross my heart, now spill.”

“Ok. Most attractive to least, right? I don’t know. Maybe Clint or Bruce first? Then Tony. Then Thor.”

“Huh. I’d have thought Thor would be at the top of the list.”

“He’s a nice guy, but he’s an alien, and that’s kinda weird.”

Bucky looked at him out of the corner of his eye. “And the fact he’s the only one who’s got bigger muscles than you and can kick your ass has nothing to do with it.”

“No, it does not.”

“Does too.”

“Does not.”

“Does too.”

That was pretty much the conversation for the rest of the way home.

Steve thought that Bucky had probably kept his promise. But Natasha could be so unreadable when she chose to be that unless she outright said something he’d probably never know.

And Natasha was also incredibly good at reading people. However subtle he thought he was being, Natasha (or someone else) was bound to notice his crush sooner or later, and he had no idea how he was going to deal with that. He hoped that if anyone asked him directly if he was gay that he would be honest, but he wasn’t sure that in the heat of the moment the layers of denial he’d spent half his life building up wouldn’t kick in.

\---

Something had come up in his reading that was bothering him. After a run-in with Hydra Steve ended up in the hospital, and took the opportunity to ask the doctor treating him. “Um, I know this is a strange question, but– I can’t get VD, can I?”

She looked slightly surprised, but said, “No, as far as we can tell you’re resistant to all known diseases. They found out from frozen samples of your blood back in the 80s that when we infect your blood with HIV, the virus doesn’t enter your white cells. Unfortunately, we haven’t managed to work out why and how, and so we can’t use that to help other people. But we’re still trying.” She paused and gave him an appraising look, then said, “If this is about starting a sexual relationship with someone, our standard advice is to use two methods of contraception to be sure of preventing pregnancy. We can run tests if you’d like, but I’d run with the assumption that you are very, very fertile.”

He smiled and said, “Thank you, but I don’t think that’s necessary.” He wasn’t being so obvious if the doctor thought there was any danger of him getting someone pregnant.

The next time he met up with Bucky at a bar, he was surprised that Natasha was there too.

“Bucky told me about the last time he tried to help you find a date. I thought he needed help.” She must have caught his expression and continued, “Not tonight. This is just reconnaissance.”

Bucky grinned, “And if you wanna pick up some hot chick, I’ll totally watch.”

Natasha smiled icily back at him. “And if you want to do Steve, I’ll watch.”

Their faces must have been something, because Natasha laughed and said, “I wish I’d got that on camera. Exactly the same horrified expression on both of you.”

Steve thought he needed to get something clear, and blushed as he said, “Um, Bucky, he’s like my brother, family, I _really_ don’t think of him that way.”

Natasha smiled. “I know you don’t. You two together, you’re like a pair of eight-year-olds. Eight-year-old reprobates. I keep expecting you to knock on people’s doors and run away.”

Bucky looked seriously at Steve. “She’s on to us.”

“You said she was good.”

“Probably knows about us sneaking off to go to Coney Island as well.”

“Long as she doesn’t tell that it was us who drew the cartoon of Fury on the bathroom wall.”

Natasha smiled over her drink. “I would love to see what your cartoon version of Fury would look like.”

Steve laughed. “Never going to happen. He’d know as soon as I’d drawn it.”

Bucky said, “He probably knows we’re talking about drawing one. We should talk about something else.”

“Ok, observation: picking up a guy in a bar feels like what Bucky thinks Steve should be doing instead of what he wants to be doing.” She turned to Steve. “Right?”

Steve half-smiled. “I guess–” He hoped he wasn’t blushing too obviously, but he probably was. “Call me old-fashioned, but I want to get to know someone first.”

She looked pointedly at Bucky.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m an idiot, that ain’t news.”

Natasha made a ‘tsk’ noise. “No, this part was a good idea.” She smiled. “Familiarization with the territory. Step two, that’s the part that needs work.” She looked like she was planning something.

“I’m not sure I like feeling like some sort of op.”

“Hey, her and me, when we work together, we always succeed. Flawless track record. You’re in good hands.”

Steve didn’t have to point out that their track record was in something which was almost the opposite of getting someone laid, he just shot Bucky a look.

Bucky waved him off. “All the same principles in the planning stage, just different, uh, execution.”

“You’re not making it any better.”

Natasha quirked a smile at him. “So when you find the man of your dreams unconscious in your bed with a tranquilizer dart sticking out of his neck, you’ll know we’ve succeeded.”

Steve knew that Natasha was joking, but spent the next few weeks with the strong feeling that the two of them were working on something behind his back. It was the way that Bucky would drop pointed questions on him, then offer no follow-up. Like, “You have any objections to dating people you work with?”

“No. Why?”

“No reason.”

There wasn’t anything he could do about it, just hope that it wouldn’t end up too embarrassing.

Then one Friday night, Bucky turned up at his apartment, with a slightly annoyed-looking Sam in tow. Even though there was (hopefully) nothing happening during the weekend, Steve had had a long week, and was planning on just having a night in. He looked at the pair of them in confusion.

Sam gave Bucky a harsh look and said, “He said it was important.”

“Oh, it is important, you pair of morons. Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers. I believe you’ve met. I _know_ you have been flirting with each other for –weeks? –months? and it is _painfully_ obvious you want inside each others pants, but are both too dumb to do anything about it. Here,” Bucky handed Steve the biggest bottle of vodka he’d ever seen. “Dutch courage. G’night!”

Bucky ducked out of the apartment, leaving the two of them staring at each other.

Steve swallowed and put the vodka down on the table by the door. He didn’t back down from a fight, and he wasn’t backing down from this. “Is he right?”

“Was I flirting with you? Yeah. I was. You?”

“Not deliberately, but yeah.”

Sam put his head on one side, “If you call that flirting–”

With that the awkwardness was gone in an instant. This was _Sam_. Steve grinned and said, “It’s gonna be like that, is it?”

Sam grinned back and said, “If you want it to be.” Sam paused, then said, “Is this where you tell me that you don’t date people you’re going to be out in the field with?”

Steve was surprised by this. “No. I mean, maybe I used to think that, but you’ve seen Bucky and Natasha in the field.”

Sam grinned. “So no reason not to.”

Steve took a step towards Sam, brought his hand up, and wanted to lean in and kiss him but there was still something there, some invisible barrier that he couldn’t cross. Fortunately, Sam took the half-step that brought their bodies flush together, tipped his head up and kissed Steve. He opened his mouth to Sam, knew that he was probably being sloppy and over-enthusiastic, but he couldn’t really bring himself to care. He was trying to keep himself from squeezing Sam too tight, knew that if he held as tight as he wanted he could hurt him. When Sam pushed his thigh forward, pressing against Steve’s erection, Steve made a choked noise, feeling like he was on the verge of coming in his pants.

Sam pulled back and said, “You haven’t done this before, have you?”

Steve shook his head and looked away from Sam.

“Hey, man, not a problem, I swear, I get it, I do. Not a lot of opportunities when you were the little guy, and not able to take advantage of any opportunities when everyone’s looking at you, yeah?”

“Something like that.” The two of them were still close, each with their arms wrapped loosely around the other’s waist. He risked looking at Sam again, and all he saw was an open smile. “And– I think there’s a lot of people who want to sleep with Captain America. Not many are interested in Steve Rogers.”

Sam pressed a gentle kiss against Steve’s lips and said, “Steve Rogers is a helluva lot more fun than Captain America.” He smiled again. “How fast do you wanna go–”

“Fast. As long as you can keep up–”

That made Sam raise an eyebrow. “So what’s a supersoldier refractory period like?”

Steve bit his lip and blushed. “Uh, pretty much nonexistent?”

“You do realize that I’ve just won a bet I made with Ricky Taylor in my junior high history class, right?”

Steve laughed, “Do I get a share in the winnings?”

“As soon as I work out where he’s living these days, I will get you your $2.50.” Sam kissed Steve again, and there was nothing gentle about this kiss. Sam’s hands were under Steve’s shirt; Steve was achingly hard, and all he wanted was for Sam’s hands to be on his dick–

Sam broke the kiss, “You can ask, you know. Good sex has good communication.”

All the things Steve wanted got tangled up, and what he managed to say was, “Wsgfl.”

Sam laughed, “Oh, great communication there. We could try Morse code but I’m kinda rusty. How about you just stop me, or say ‘no’ if there’s anything you don’t like, ok?”

“Sure. Uh. Sorry?”

“You got nothing to be sorry for, because you are adorable like this.”

Steve narrowed his eyes. “I am not adorable.”

“Adorable,” said Sam, happily, and before Steve had chance to come up with an answer Sam was on his knees, smoothly pulling down Steve’s sweatpants and underwear and swallowing down Steve’s dick.

Fuck. _Fuck_. Sam’s mouth– hot– wet– tongue– _fuck_ – “Sam I’m gonna–” And Sam _sucked_ –

Steve came with a gasp, hands balled into fists at his sides. Sam’s mouth was still on him, taking everything, swallowing, tongue gently caressing him through the aftershocks. Then Sam pulled back and looked extremely smug. “Good?”

“Very.”

“Oh, I have barely started with you.”

“Uh. Very, very good?”

Sam laughed, stood up, smoothly pulling Steve’s pants up as he did so, and took Steve’s hand, pulling him towards the bedroom.

“This is the part where naked is better.”

Steve didn’t need a second invitation, and quickly stripped out of his t-shirt and sweats. Sam didn’t linger either, efficiently taking off his shirt and pants.

Sam was– Sam was perfect. Steve would never say that out loud, it sounded somewhere between stupid and creepy, but that was what he was thinking. Everything about him was just right, toned muscle, flawless dark skin, the scattering of hair on his belly, even his dick, hard and–ok, it was definitely stupid to think that a dick was just right, but that was what he was thinking, and if that made him stupidly head over heels for Sam, then so be it.

“Just looking, that’s what porn’s for. Get your ass over here, Steve.”

Steve stepped forward, raised his hand and ghosted his fingers over Sam’s chest, watching the way that his nipples hardened and his skin broke out in goosebumps. Steve kept his touch barely-there, feeling the heat radiating between them. He let the whole of his hands skate over Sam’s torso, then down lower, hesitating for a moment. Sam took his hand and pulled him to the bed itself.

Then Sam was kissing him again, laid out on top of him on the bed, and it was a jolt to realize that the strange taste in Sam’s mouth was his own come. He could feel Sam’s erection pressing into his stomach, and spent a couple of moments wanting to touch it before his brain caught up with the situation, that yeah, he could do that. He slid his hand between them, curled his fingers around Sam’s erection. Sam made a contented-sounding noise into the kiss, so Steve continued his exploration, no foreskin, that was different–

“Are you teasing deliberately?” Sam’s tone was sharp, but he was smiling.

Steve smiled back. “No. Would I do that?”

“Your powers of wiseass increase when you get naked, then.”

Steve gave his best fake-innocent look. “Wiseass? Me?”

“Yeah, I can shut you up any time.” With that Sam adjusted his position so his erection was lined up with Steve’s and ground down and yeah, that shut him up.

Steve– there wasn’t any other way of saying it, he grabbed Sam’s ass and pulled him in. Sam laughed, then kissed him, and that was really the end of the talking. The feel of Sam’s body against his own was just so _good_ that he thought his brain was shutting down. He could feel his orgasm building through his whole body, and moved his hands from Sam’s hips to fist his hands in the sheets, because he still didn’t trust himself not to accidentally hurt Sam in the heat of the moment. He came, gasping and arching up into Sam.

Sam paused and looked down at him, “So this is what it takes to get you to work up a sweat.”

Steve tried to think of some comeback against that and failed completely. He settled for pulling Sam down into another kiss, open-mouthed and hungry. He hooked a leg around Sam, and flipped them so he was on top without breaking the kiss. Sam’s legs parted, and it felt like they fitted together perfectly like this, felt like he could spend a whole day like this, kissing Sam–

Sam’s fingers dug into Steve’s ass and he rutted up against Steve’s hardening dick.

“Impatient.”

“Some of us haven’t come twice already today. Don’t think you can just lie there–”

Steve ground down, and was rewarded by a moan catching in Sam’s throat. He kissed him again, then kissed along his jaw, up to his ear and then down his neck as they ground against each other. Then Sam surprised him by flipping them over again, so he was on top again. Sam took Steve’s hand and wrapped it around both of their dicks, so their fingers were laced together. Steve thrust into the tight, warm space, and soon was coming for a third time. Sam made a little moan and thrust a couple more times, then his whole body tensed, and Steve felt the hot rush of his come against his skin.

Sam flopped on top of Steve. After a couple of moments, Sam said, “Usually, I’d offer to move, but man, you’re a supersoldier, you do the heavy lifting for once.”

Steve put his arms loosely around Sam. “I can deal with that.”

“Mmn. There should be some cleaning up at some point, but right now, this is just nice.”

Sam was a dead weight, entirely relaxed against Steve, and yeah. It was nice.

\---

Steve woke, and was about to roll out of bed on autopilot when he realised- Sam. Sleeping peacefully next to him, features soft in the light from the streetlights coming through the curtains.

The books and websites had covered a lot of dating etiquette, but “being a supersoldier who needs half the amount of sleep that normal people do, so wakes up before any normal person should” wasn’t covered. They’d agreed to go running in the morning, but that wouldn’t be for a couple of hours, and Sam wouldn’t have his running clothes–

“Damn, you think _loud_ Rogers.” Sam hadn’t opened his eyes, hadn’t given any indication of waking up until he opened his mouth.

“I was thinking of whether to cook you breakfast, and when.”

“What time is it, anyway?”

“Before four.”

“Ugh. I’ll consider sex, a run and breakfast in about two hours.”

Sam still hadn’t opened his eyes, but instead snuggled deeper into the duvet. Steve smiled, kissed him on the forehead, pulled on his sweatpants and went to do the chores he’d been meaning to do last night.

He let Sam sleep until past eight; he had checked at six, but Sam looked so peaceful and relaxed that Steve didn’t want to disturb him. Now Sam looked like he was stirring, so Steve kissed him gently on the cheek and said, “Any preference on what order the sex, run and breakfast are in?”

Sam cracked one eye open, looked Steve up and down and said, “We’ll take a raincheck on the run.”

Steve let himself be pulled back into bed. Maybe kisses before Sam had brushed his teeth weren’t the best, but the hand around his dick, the tongue on his neck, all of that was well worth it. It was slower, lazier than the night before, a slow jog to orgasm rather than a sprint.

They ended up curled around each other, Sam’s head tucked under Steve’s chin.

“Breakfast?” asked Steve.

“I still get breakfast too?”

“I wouldn’t be much of a boyfriend if I didn’t get you breakfast.” He hadn’t meant to say it, hadn’t meant to assume, but that was–

Sam was looking at him with soft fondness. “Is that how it’s going to be?”

“If you want it to be.”

“Kinda think I do. But I can get you breakfast some of the time too.”

“Pancakes?”

“Pancakes.”

Breakfast was as good a time as any for the awkward conversation about VD. “Uh, I’m resistant to most known diseases. Including sexually transmitted ones. There’s no good time to say that, so I thought I’d–”

“Say it while I had a mouthful of pancake and couldn’t giggle?”

“That was the plan.”

“Good plan. And are you sure–”

“They told me that they’re trying to replicate the way my cells resist HIV infection. So pretty sure.”

“Now that’s a real superpower.” Sam finished up with his plate, and walked around to put it by the sink, planting a slightly sticky kiss on Steve’s cheek on the way past. “Normally I’d say that sounded like a hint and drag you back to bed, but I agreed to help my sister with some things today, and she is not a woman to cancel on.” Steve had stood up, and he let Sam pull him into a loose embrace. “But since you have declared yourself my boyfriend, we don’t have to do everything today, do we?”

Steve smiled, chest warm with affection. “Nope.” He kissed Sam again. “Run tomorrow morning?”

“Well, I guess I can’t get _all_ of my exercise horizontally.” He checked his watch. “I better go.”

Steve kissed Sam goodbye, and definitely did not spend a whole minute grinning stupidly at the closed door after him.

\---

The next morning Steve turned up at Sam’s door, like he did every morning, ready to go out for a run. Sam opened the door, dressed for running.

They looked at each other for a moment.

“Hey, you mind coming inside for a minute? I need to check something.”

As soon as the door was shut, Sam was pressing Steve against it and kissing him. Steve flipped them around so he was pressing Sam against the door, then dropped to his knees. Shorts were good, shorts meant that he wouldn’t fumble a zipper and make himself look nervous (more nervous than he actually was). Teasing felt like something for someone who knew what they were doing, so Steve went for it with all the enthusiasm he had. He sucked Sam’s dick down like it was a popsicle, surprising himself by ending up with the head of Sam’s dick pushing against the back of his throat. This was easier than the internet had made it out to be.

He tried to remember what Sam had done that felt so good. He drew back until he only had the tip of Sam’s dick in his mouth, then swirled his tongue around the tip. Sam’s fingers were in his hair, pulling gently; and Steve found that he was enjoying doing this so much he was palming his own dick through his pants. He hummed contentedly as he took Sam’s dick as deep as he could, which made Sam’s fingers tighten in his hair.

“Fuck, is deep-throating another one of those supersoldier things?”

Steve pulled back and said, “Could be natural talent.”

“People didn’t know what they were missing then.”

Steve leaned forwards, licked down Sam’s dick, and couldn’t help squeezing his own dick through his pants. Then took Sam deep again, and, ignoring Sam’s incoherent warnings and pulls on his hair, sucked, so Sam came down his throat, Steve swallowing as he did so.

He pulled off and looked up at Sam, who was looking a little dazed, but said, “Get back up here, idiot.”

He pushed Steve against the door preemptorily, then Sam knelt down himself and took Steve’s dick in his mouth. Steve was so primed that it only took a few moments before he was coming.

Sam neatly pulled his own shorts up as he stood up, and pulled Steve’s pants up as well, then raised an eyebrow at Steve, “We going for that run then?”

“That was the idea.”

They ran, and while they were sarcastic at each other at each lap, they didn’t do anything in public that would cause comment. Which made him want to have that conversation with Sam, so as soon as they were back at Sam’s apartment Steve said, “You know I’m not…out.”

Sam folded his arms and deadpanned, “Really.”

“You– I– you make me want to be out. I want to hold your hand in public. I want to take you out on a date. But it’s not just going to be about me–”

“Yeah, I know, it’s gonna be that Captain America’s dating a guy. A black guy. This is pretty much the only thing that I think is gonna shock the nation worse than its entire intelligence apparatus being run by the bad guys. But,” Sam drew Steve into his arms, “I may not shout it from the rooftops, but I walked out of that closet years ago, and I’m not getting back in for anyone. You get enough time to work out where your head is at, enough time to get comfortable, and then we are holding hands in public, ok?” Sam kissed Steve. “You’re only getting a pass because you were born while there were still dinosaurs in Brooklyn.”

“You’re not worried about–”

“About the fact that there will be at least a dozen nut jobs who’ll want to kill me for corrupting America’s innocence? About firebombs in through the window? And this would be different from the ways that Hydra want to kill me how exactly?”

Steve smiled ruefully, “More personal. And if you want out–”

“Oh, no way. Fighting the bad guys, that’s worth it. And you, you’re worth it.”

“Love you.” Steve’s eyes widened. “Uh, was that too fast–”

Sam laughed, “I knew you were fast the first time you overtook me. Think I might love you too.”

Steve grinned so hard that his face hurt.

“So if we’re going fast, when can I take you home to meet my mom? And by ‘mom,’ I mean mom, grandma and sister.”

“Would they tell–”

“You know about Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, right? I was out to them before I joined up, so they have a lot of practice not telling.”

“Then yeah, sure. But we probably should have been dating for at least a month before you take me to meet your family.”

Sam kissed Steve. “I think maybe we’ve been dating a while longer than that. Just too dumb to realize it.”

“So when’s our anniversary then?”

“We can decide that later. And make up some bullshit story to spin to the world.”

\---

The next morning he turned up at Sam’s door at the normal time for their run. Sam opened the door, dressed only in a towel, still dripping from the shower.

Steve swallowed.

“Running a little late. You’d better come in.”

It took a couple of seconds for Steve to remember how to walk.

He mutely followed Sam to the bedroom, and when Sam turned and smirked at him, Steve made an incoherent noise and tackled him onto the bed as Sam laughed. Steve shut him up by kissing him, pinning him to the bed.

Then Sam was taking one of Steve’s hands, pulling it between his legs. Sam took two of Steve’s fingers, and slid them along his ass crack and _fuck_ inside, wet and slippery. Steve couldn’t help the noise he made.

“Can I?” He was almost proud that he managed to get out something that was vaguely coherent.

“Can you fuck me? No, I spent ten minutes prepping myself in the shower so we could watch the shopping channel. Unless you don’t want–”

“ _Please–_ ”

Sam flipped them so he was straddling Steve. “Did I mention that needy and ridiculously turned on is a good look on you?” Sam was pulling Steve’s pants down, just enough to release his erection, and reaching for the lube on the nightstand. He wrapped a lube-slick hand around Steve’s dick, and jerked him off with determination. “I want this to last, Rogers, so you’re getting your first shot off now, understood?”

He didn’t need much encouragement with Sam straddling him, and was soon coming all over Sam’s hand. Sam slowed his movements, teasing him back to hardness. Then Sam shuffled back up the bed, leaned down and kissed Steve.

Sam lowered himself onto Steve’s dick–

– and Steve just about lost the power of coherent thought, let alone coherent speech. Nothing should have been able to feel this _good_ , like there was electricity running from his dick to the tips of his toes and up his back and into his scalp, and at the point that he was just about used to that Sam _moved_ and Steve had to redefine good all over again.

Sam was grinning, looking like he’d won the lottery, and Steve wanted to burn that image into his memory, but he wasn’t sure that his brain was working well enough to do that.

Even after coming once this morning, Steve could feel his orgasm building, and he wrapped his hand around Sam’s dick. He squeezed, and was rewarded with Sam tipping his head back, looking more blissed out than Steve had ever seen. Sam’s movements were getting more erratic.

Sam moaned, “Fuck, fuck _Steve_ ,” and he was coming, thick spurts across his beautiful abs, and clenching around Steve’s dick, and Steve felt like his orgasm was pulled out of him, fingers and toes curling with the intensity of it.

Sam collapsed next to Steve, hand resting lightly on Steve’s abdomen.

It was a few moments before Sam said, “So, how’s anal sex?”

“Pretty good.”

Sam smacked him lightly on the stomach. “ _Pretty good._ That was a flawlessly executed seduction.”

Steve grinned and looked down at himself, still in his running gear, just with his sweatpants pushed down and top pushed up. “So flawless that I’m still dressed.”

“That wasn’t just an introduction to anal sex, but to the quickie as well. Long, lingering sex is good, and sex where you’re too horny to even get your clothes off is good too.”

“Have we managed long and lingering yet?”

“You’ve been too enthusiastic for lingering.” Sam kissed him. “Don’t go thinking that’s a bad thing. I like your enthusiasm.”

Steve nuzzled into Sam. “We can keep going until we get to lingering.”

“How about right now? Instead of that run?”

“I’m sure it’s all good exercise.”

“In that case, get those damn pants off.”

\---

“So this is the first time you’ve worn pants in two weeks, yeah?”

He was sitting on the couch in Natasha and Bucky’s apartment. Bucky was grinning at him.

Steve smiled blandly. “Just been hanging out.”

Bucky snickered. “You have no idea how much you have _‘I got laid’_ written across your forehead.”

Steve shot him a look.

“You do!” Bucky smiled. “And you look happy.”

“This is where you take credit for everything then?”

Bucky looked up at the ceiling. “Kinda possibly might have been barking up the wrong tree and kinda possibly might entirely have been Natasha who knew that you two were into each other and kinda possibly she had a plan to set you two up together so that you wouldn’t even know you’d been set up together which I ruined because I got no patience.”

“Possibly.”

“Just possibly.”

It was Steve’s turn to smile. “Your dumbass plan did work though.”

“You have no idea how proud I am at finally setting you up on a date that worked. Even if Natasha did need to point me in the right direction.”

“Haven’t exactly got around to going on a date yet–”

That made Bucky laugh, “Yeah, dates mean you gotta get _dressed_.” He paused. “And means coming out, doesn’t it?”

Steve nodded. “It’s… I do want to come out. And Sam’s out. But… I’m scared about what could happen to Sam.”

“He’d follow you to the gates of Hell. He’d have done that before you started dating, Steve. He’s made that choice.”

“I guess… maybe I’m just stalling. But he says I have to meet his family first.”

“You want backup?” Steve raised an eyebrow, and Bucky grinned and said, “Sniper position on the next rooftop, tranquilizer darts only.”

“Thanks, but no.”

Bucky shrugged. “Offer’s still open.” He put his head on one side. “You could go on a date, you know. Stealth date.”

“Stealth date.”

“Yeah. Always wanted one of my double dates to be a success, and now you got someone you actually want to go on a date with. To anyone looking, there’s just four friends having a meal together. Only we know it’s a double date.”

“That’s an idea dumb enough to work.”

That was how Steve ended up at a Thai restaurant, with Sam and Bucky and Natasha. And it was an idea dumb enough to work; the four of them were at ease with each other, and Bucky and Natasha weren’t given to public displays of affection, so the table didn’t obviously look split into two dating couples. He suspected that if anyone was really paying attention, with Natasha’s sort of eye for detail, they’d guess; but… he was going to come out at some point, he was sure of that. If the bad guys worked it out before then, what did it matter? If they tried to blackmail him, he’d just have to step up and come out there and then.

The four of them went back to Bucky and Natasha’s to watch a movie. He dropped onto the couch, and when Sam sat next to him it was automatic to sling an arm around his shoulder and pull him in close. He pressed a gentle kiss to the side of Sam’s mouth. A date. He was on a date (double date), that, for the first time in his life, was actually going well.

As a familiar logo came up on the TV, Steve asked, “Are we not up-to-date on Disney yet?”

“Long way off,” said Bucky, who was wrapped around Natasha in a very uncomfortable-looking way. Steve thought that he was trying to be both the big and the little spoon at the same time. This was obviously normal, from the way that Natasha looked completely relaxed, fingers gently playing with Bucky’s hair.

“Tell me this isn’t the Lion King,” said Sam.

“Aladdin,” supplied Natasha.

“Lion King is next on the list,” added Bucky.

Sam looked at Steve. “I’m setting some boundaries in this relationship right now: I’m not watching the Lion King with you. I’ve seen it once. I don’t need to see it again.”

“Is it that bad?”

“It’s a great movie. Just… unnecessarily upsetting in parts.”

“Worse than Bambi?”

“Same sort of level.”

“Thanks for the warning.”

He snuggled into Sam a little more comfortably, and settled in to enjoy the movie.

They left after the movie finished, walking towards Steve’s without discussing it. When they got to the door of his building Steve paused, and turned to Sam. “Want to come upstairs and see my etchings?”

“When did you get _smooth?_ ”

He grinned. “I’m learning from the best.”

Sam was in his arms as soon as the door was shut behind them, and they had this down to an art by now, getting from door to bedroom in the least possible time, with maximum clothes removal and minimal time out of contact with each other.

When they hit the bed, Steve pulled away for a moment, looked at Sam and said, “I want you to fuck me.”

“You sure?”

“Acting like I don’t know my own mind?”

“Consent is sexy.”

“In that case, please fuck me.”

“Since you asked nicely.” Sam reached over and took the lube out of the nightstand. “On your front. We can get creative later.”

Steve rolled over, settled comfortably with his arms under his head.

He felt the touch of Sam’s lips on his back, just below his left shoulder, then Sam kissed across Steve’s back to the other shoulder. “You have a lovely back, you know that?”

“My _back?_ ”

“Magnificent is what it is.”

“You do get to see a lot of it–”

Sam cuffed him gently and Steve chuckled. Then Sam’s hands were on him, kneading his muscles, starting at his neck and moving down. Steve thought he’d been relaxed before, but now he felt like he was melting, and his eyes drifted shut, just enjoying the sensations. Eventually Sam’s hands were on his ass, and Steve was going from relaxed to…interested.

There was the snap of the lid of the lube being opened. “You want me to stop or slow down, you just say so, ok?”

“Sure.”

There was a warm, lubed finger inching slowly down the crack of his ass, now teasing a little around his asshole, now slipping inside. Like being touched anywhere else, it was so much _better_ when there was someone else doing it. Sam’s movements were slow, almost teasing, gently rubbing over his prostate.

Steve sighed and pushed back into Sam’s finger. “Oh, you think I’m going too slow do you?”

“Kinda.”

Then he felt another finger, first the teasing touch then there were two fingers inside him. Now Sam was fucking him with his fingers, still slow and gentle, but brushing against Steve’s prostate regularly. Steve was grinding into the sheets to get a little extra friction.

And Sam was sliding in another finger, and Steve had never gone this far on his own, and it felt great, but he wanted– “Please, c’mon Sam.”

“Are you begging to be fucked?”

“No, I’m asking nicely.”

“You’re a real gentleman.”

Sam’s fingers slid out, leaving Steve feeling empty, but only for a moment, then _fuck fuck fuck_ that was Sam’s dick sliding in, slow, so slowly, and how could anyone have that sort of patience? Eventually Sam was all the way in, and stopped, saying, “You good?”

“More than good. Now get to it.”

Sam chuckled and started to move, gripping Steve’s hips, and starting slowly, but soon slamming into him. Steve realized that he was moaning with every stroke inside him, and grinding into the sheets.

“You like this?” said Sam, breathless.

“Yeah.”

“You gonna come for me?”

It only took a few more moments before Steve was coming, wetly into the sheets. Sam was still going, movements becoming erratic, until his hips stuttered and he gasped. He collapsed onto Steve, who let him stay there for a moment before turning over and hugging him close.

They lay there for a while, Steve’s hand stroking up and down Sam’s neck.

Steve licked his lips and said, “You know, if you moved in–”

“ _Damn_ you are a fast mover.”

“We practically lived in each other’s pockets for months in motels. We survived that. All I’m saying is–”

“That your super-soldier libido wants to have the best ass in New York City where he can grope it every day.”

“You make it sound so romantic.”

“Well, you do make damn good pancakes. And you do the washing up without being asked. And it saves on the rent.” He kissed Steve. “We’ll try it.”

Steve kissed him, heart blooming.

\---

There were three Fates who decided the doom of men.

This was the thought at the forefront of Steve’s mind when he walked into Sam’s grandmother’s living room, to see Sam’s sister, mother and grandmother assembled with expressions he usually associated with court martials.

“Mom, Grandma, Monica, this is Steve.”

Steve smiled his most winning smile. “Pleased to meet you.”

“I ain’t so old that I’ve forgotten what Captain America looks like, Sammy-boy,” said his grandmother. She looked Steve up and down, and by her expression obviously found him wanting. “This who you’ve been running off around the country with?”

“Yes, Grandma.”

She narrowed her eyes at Sam. “He your boyfriend? That why you got us all here mysterious-like?”

Sam beamed. “Yes, Grandma.”

Monica laughed, “Seriously? He is way out of your league, Sam.”

Sam looked at Steve, and Steve took Sam’s hand. Steve gave a sidelong glance at Monica, then kissed Sam’s hand, Disney Prince style.

Sam theatrically put a hand to his chest and said, “Oh, I know he is out of my league, but he hasn’t worked that out yet, and I’m gonna enjoy it while it lasts.”

Steve smiled at Sam, “I kinda thought that you were out of my league.”

Monica made an exaggeratedly disgusted face. “Mom, make them stop, I think my teeth are rotting.”

Sam’s mom cuffed her gently. “Shush yourself, just because your brother got himself Captain America for a boyfriend and you didn’t.”

“Hey! Lawrence may not be Captain America, but he’s a great guy, ok?”

Sam’s mother and grandmother shared a look which indicated that while they might _just_ about find Steve tolerable, Monica’s boyfriend was not accorded the same approval.

Sam looked at Steve, “Lawrence is an accountant. He is not a doctor, lawyer or national icon, so Mom thinks she could do better.”

“How long has Captain America been gay, then?” demanded Sam’s grandmother.

“Always?” He suspected that ‘completely straight until I met your grandson’ was possibly the answer she was actually looking for.

“We’re in a ‘don’t tell’ situation,” said Sam smoothly, “Until we work out the best way of coming out.”

Monica’s eyes lit up. “Fourth of July parade. No, Presidential address. No, a TV special on Thanksgiving. Ooh, tell all with Oprah! Yes, Oprah! C’mon Sam, she’d do a network special for a tell-all with Captain America. Oprah’s nice. She’ll be really nice, best way of coming out–”

Sam turned to Steve, “I did warn you.”

“You did.”

“So?” demanded Sam’s grandmother.

This was aimed at Steve, who had no idea what she was talking about. “Sorry?”

“So when are you going to make an honest man of my grandson?”

Guys could get married. _They_ could get married. It was something he knew, but not something that had really sunk in, become part of his automatic thoughts. Sam had moved in with him, and now he’d been brought to meet Sam’s family so surely he should have…

Sam was looking at him evenly, then said, “Don’t let them bully you.”

“I– I just hadn’t thought– I– would you?”

Sam beamed, “Oh, you gotta ask _properly_.”

Steve grinned, and without even thinking about it dropped to one knee, took Sam’s hand and said, “Sam Wilson, will you marry me?”

Sam pulled him up to standing, and said, “Oh _hell_ yes.”

Steve grabbed him, and pulled him into a searing kiss, almost lifting him off his feet. It would have been a perfect romantic moment, if not for the incoherent screaming from Monica.

He finally let go of Sam, and looked at him, aware that he probably had the stupidest grin on his face. But that was ok, because the grin on Sam’s face was pretty damn stupid too.

He risked a look at Sam’s family. His mother and sister were hugging each other and grinning, and his grandmother was very nearly smiling.

“I already had something special for dinner because it was Captain America coming,” said Sam’s mother, “But this deserves a cake at least.”

“I didn’t mean to spring this on you.”

“Do _not_ apologize, Captain-”

“Call me Steve.”

Sam’s mom grinned, and said, “Don’t you dare apologize, Steve.”

They sat down to dinner together, and ridiculous portions of food were pushed at him as he was unsubtly interrogated about everything from his income to his future plans to his voting intentions. For all that, it was nice being in the middle of a family again. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed it.

When they were in the car for the drive home again, before he started the engine, Steve turned to Sam and said, “I meant it. But I should have thought and I should have asked you somewhere more romantic than your grandmother’s house–”

Sam elbowed him in the ribs. “It was perfect, ‘cause now we have to get married somewhere romantic, and I get to pick.”

\---

Steve had been thinking about telling the Avengers for a couple of weeks, uncertain if he wanted to make a big announcement because he had got engaged, or to tell them casually, because it damn well shouldn’t be an issue that he was engaged to a guy.

The next world-threatening megalomaniac turned up before he came to a conclusion.

World-threatening enough to need every single one of them out in the field, in New York again (and surely there should be a regulation against your home town being the epicenter for an alien invasion more than once). Steve had just finished herding civilians out of a building when he heard a warning from Thor which was just a second too late to get clear–

He felt the weight of the wall on the shield, braced, and went with it. He stilled as the masonry stopped falling around him, relieved that whatever he was standing on had held.

The stream of curses in his ear and demands that he damn well say something indicated that Bucky at least had seen the building fall.

Then he heard Sam say, “Steve.” Like it was the hardest thing in the world to say.

“I’m ok. But I don’t want to move if it’s going to take the rest of the building down.”

The content of Bucky’s swearing didn't change, but he sounded relieved.

“Not fast enough,” said Sam, and there was something about the tone. That others were supposed to hear it as a joke, but it was meant deadly seriously.

“Going to have to work on my running.”

A conversation with Tony about structural stability later, followed by a longer wait than he liked, and a familiar metal arm burst through the concrete to the left of him, bringing in a glare of sunlight. He pushed up and out, and was rewarded with the sight of Sam hovering in the air, half-holding up Bucky by the belt, so Bucky could get the right leverage between two girders to get Steve out.

He couldn’t help it, he was so relieved and the position the two of them were in was so ridiculous that he burst out laughing.

Sam and Bucky shared a look.

“Say the word and I will put him back in the damn hole,” said Bucky.

Steve put his hands up placatingly. “Adrenaline. I promise.”

Sam put Bucky down, and Bucky gave a curt nod to Sam (which Steve interpreted as ‘this idiot is your responsibility now’), then started to pick his way down the wrecked building. Sam looked at Steve. “Had me going there a minute, Steve.”

Both of them knew that they were on comms, and while they were reasonably secure there were no guarantees. Steve said, “Keeps you on your toes.”

“If you kept on your toes then I wouldn’t have just had to help dig you out.”

Sam offered him his hand, and Steve clasped it, just a little too long for friends.

“You want me to fly us out of here, or do you want to walk?”

“I had a big breakfast. Let’s walk.”

They walked, shoulders bumping, the block to where the rest of the Avengers were congregating. They’d shut down the invasion promptly this time (Tony and Bruce were having a conversation about poor quality megalomaniacs re-using ideas), and the building Steve had been under had been the only one to take a major hit. So no real rescue effort to get involved with, which meant that there was a hot shower and clean sheets somewhere with his name on them–

“So, Avengers Assembling at the Tower for a debrief, maybe dinner, I can guarantee hot showers and hot food.” Tony had apparently decided to make post-fight food a regular thing.

Steve looked at Sam, who shrugged. They were two blocks away from Stark Tower, and a hell of a lot farther away from home than that. He wasn’t going to argue with getting a hot shower faster.

He also wasn’t going to do anything other than have a shower. He had just about reconciled himself to the omnipresence of Jarvis in the tower, but he still felt… observed. So he had a quick and businesslike shower, then headed for one of the common areas.

Maybe he hadn’t been quite as businesslike with the shower as he could have been because Sam, Bucky and Natasha were all there before him. The table was covered in food; he’d guess that Pepper had organized it, though he wouldn’t put it past Tony to now be ordering the post-fight takeout while he was still in the field. Steve dropped onto the couch between Sam and Bucky, and picked up a box at random.

Clint wandered in next, went through all the boxes on the table and grumbled about the lack of pakoras. Thor came in, made the mistake of asking what pakoras were, and was treated to a lecture from Clint. Bruce and then Rhodey were the next arrivals, both unwillingly dragged into Clint’s tirade.

Steve realized that the four of them on the couch were watching this spectacle as if it were street theater. An impression cemented when Bucky waved his current takeout box under Steve’s nose as if it were popcorn. Steve picked out a deep-fried something as Tony walked into the room, followed by Pepper.

“Now, look, personal life choices are personal, but really, twenty-first century and there is no call to be on the down-low.”

“Tony–” said Pepper in a warning tone.

“Like a said, no big deal, but our defrosted soldiers don’t have to go around pretending. Good choice of beard though.”

Bucky looked at Steve, “I get that he’s talking about us, but nothing else.”

Steve shrugged and looked at Sam, who was grinning. Sam raised an eyebrow and said, “I have a theory. If I’m right, I want to see how deep a hole he’s going to dig himself.”

Steve folded his arms and looked at Tony.

“I get that you were both born before the first World War ended, and that a lot has changed, but it’s a big happy rainbow of sexuality and the team’s right with you, though you could have come out to us before we had to ask.”

Aha. Tony thought he and Bucky were an item. If Steve had been a better person he’d have said something, but Sam had wanted to see how deep a hole he was going to dig himself, so Steve kept himself stony-faced.

Bucky now also had his arms folded, and was looking coolly at Tony. “Fewer words, more meaning.”

Tony gave Pepper a ‘help me’ look. It was Pepper’s turn to fold her arms, with an expression which clearly stated that Tony had gotten himself into this situation, Tony could get himself out of it.

Tony sighed. “It has been months since I saw you two walking out of the gayest gay bar in this city, nice disguises by the way, and I was giving you time to come out to the team, but you’re not going to, so you need to know that the closet door is firmly open–”

Bucky looked sidelong at Steve, then burst out laughing. “Aw, sorry, I couldn’t keep a straight face any longer.”

“Tell me you meant that pun.” said Steve.

“Is this is a Midgardian joke?”

Natasha smiled blandly, “Tony thinks that Bucky and Steve are in a relationship, and that Bucky is faking being in a relationship with me to hide that fact.”

“Tony is an idiot,” said Clint, pleasantly.

Tony shot him a look and said, “Leaving a gay bar with an arm slung around another guy’s shoulders–”

“Does not mean that you’re gay,” supplied Natasha.

As fun as it was, this had gone on long enough. Steve turned to Sam, raised an eyebrow, and Sam grinned at him. So Steve leaned in and kissed him, wrapped himself around him like he’d really wanted to do since he’d seen daylight again after the building had dropped on him.

“And that’s why Tony’s an idiot,” said Clint.

Steve broke the kiss and smiled at Sam, then turned to the others, without loosening his hold on Sam.

Bucky sighed, “I was in the gayest gay bar because first they do really good Daiquiris, and second, my best friend’s gay–”

“He’s a terrible wingman,” said Steve.

“I am an _excellent_ wingman,” said Bucky. Natasha raised an eyebrow at him, and he grinned, “Especially if Natasha’s backing me up.”

Sam snuggled into Steve’s side. “Let him think he’s useful. Good for his self-esteem.”

“But you– you’re–” Tony waved his hands around.

“Completely irresistible?” tried Bucky.

“I take it back,” said Sam, “He has far too much self-esteem. Tell him he’s an asshole.”

“We should celebrate that our Captain has found such happiness,” Thor was beaming. “Is the tradition ale or cake?”

“Both,” said Clint. “At least it should be.”

“Well,” said Steve, “we haven’t had an engagement party yet.”

“Congratulations,” said Pepper, and Steve could see the gears clicking into place, and knew that she was already working out the details for a press conference, a wedding, and quite possibly the honeymoon as well. “Have you made any plans yet?”

It was Rhodey’s turn to laugh, “Which means ‘say you don’t have plans so I can make them for you’.”

Pepper smiled warmly, “Only if they want the help.”

“I’m having to get used to the idea,” said Tony, “that the Touchy-Feely Soldier and Captain No Personal Space are just good friends.”

Bucky pressed his index finger into Steve’s forehead and furrowed his brow in concentration for a moment. “Nah, not feeling any more fabulous than before. Guess it ain’t catching.”

Steve swatted his hand away. “If it was catching you’d have caught it a long time ago.”

Tony vaguely addressed Pepper, Rhodey and Bruce, “You see why I thought they were an item.”

“You call Rhodey cupcake,” said Bruce.

“That is completely different because I do that to all my friends, snuggleweasel.”

Steve felt… warm. Contented. And it was wonderful. He kissed Sam on the cheek, then stayed with his face pressed against Sam’s.

Pepper’s phone chirruped. She looked at it, then looked up at them. “No civilians unaccounted for. Press conference in a couple of hours? Something this minor I don’t think it needs the whole team–”

Steve didn’t move, but said, “We could–”

“I like your thinking,” said Sam, “‘Saved your city, you’re welcome, by the way, I’m gay’.”

Steve smiled. “More ‘By the way, I’m getting married’.”

Sam chuckled, “Yeah, that you’re off the market is probably gonna get more people upset than that you’re gay. So, you gonna write your coming out speech, or just do it off the cuff?”

“It’s not me though, is it. It’s us. I–”

“Long as you don’t spill any of my embarrassing secrets, anything you say is good by me.”

“I’m not sure if they’re cute or sickening,” said Clint.

“Sickening,” said Bucky, “Definitely sickening.”

So it was two hours later, after a call to Sam’s family to warn them that they were about to become celebrities, Steve found himself facing down the… how many press conferences had he been to now? Far too many. They went through the usual, questions about why this was still happening, if they considered themselves above the law, was there any evidence of Hydra’s involvement in this.

Then, as the questions were drying up, he took a deep breath and said, “There’s something that I should have said some time ago. A lie is still a lie if it’s a lie by omission. So what I want to say is – I’m gay. I’ve always known that. There are people who’ve made me feel bad about that, but there have always been people who’ve loved me whatever. And–” He couldn’t help the smile that was creeping over his face, and turned to Sam, and took his hand. Sam was grinning too. Steve didn’t turn back to the cameras, but kept looking at Sam as he said, “I met a guy who makes me happy. And who was dumb enough to say yes when I asked him to marry me.”

With that, Steve bent his head, and in front of the world he kissed Sam Wilson.

(And if it had been a movie that would have been that, but since this was real life there were more questions from reporters, a far-too enthusiastic hug from Thor, and then Tony’s idea of a good engagement party to contend with…)


End file.
